


Your gravity

by purgatorycitizen



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Fix-It, Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27244447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purgatorycitizen/pseuds/purgatorycitizen
Summary: In which Steve McGarrett has been in Montana for six months looking for peace but all he found was loneliness and pain but he still can't forgive himself for putting in danger the people he loves. Then one night he receive a call from Grace Williams and maybe that was the push he needed to finally realize that peace has never been a place to retire in the middle of nowhere, more like a person that has always been at his side for the past ten years.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 4
Kudos: 142





	Your gravity

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfiction I write in a long time, it's been seven years since I posted something here so please be kind. I'm a huge fan of constructive feedback but I have no beta reader and despite living in England, english is not my first language. I cannot believe I needed to jump on the McDanno train to finally write something. Hope you like it, it's just my little fix-up of a finale that left a bitter feeling in my mouth.

_You can be the moonlight, I can be the sea_

_A million miles away but still you are moving me._

The sunset looks beautiful this warm summer evening. The sky is shading from clear blue to warm colors, from bright orange to deep yellow while disappears slowly behind the mountain. The ranch is big and cozy and most of all, it’s quite, the silence around him is peaceful but Steve find himself looking up to the sky to look for the hot sunshine of Hawaii and the calm sound of the waves in the distance.

It hits him hard that he’s far away from the place he called home for the last ten years of his life, it’s a punch in the stomach and comes to him by surprise and suddenly is lost in the darkness again, gasping for air and fighting back the panic rising from his chest, heartbeat running mad in his ears.

Commander Steve McGarrett left Hawaii six months prior to look for peace and maybe hoping in some sort of spiritual epiphany but after all this time the only thing he found was loneliness and the end of a bottle of cheap scotch. Catherine tried to reach to him and what started full of hope soon clashed with the wall that the Navy SEAL build around himself, the same walls that only one person was able to reach and climb slow and steady, because Danny Williams has been there always, even when he reached the bottom and he had no intention to climb back up.

Another day is gone and Steve closes the stable door behind him before going back to the ranch and sit on the couch in front of the television, with a glass of scotch in the hand and haunted by the memories of a past that seems so far away. He dreams at night, about Joe and his mother, about his father and all the secrets he brought with him in the grave and he dreams of Kono, Chin and Lou and he dreams of Danny, the coppery smell of blood soaked in his hand while dragging him away from that warehouse, holding his hand so tight while the fear of losing him almost paralyze him.

It’s a lonely exile he chooses, this is his way to make amends for putting the person he loves the most in danger because Danny was almost gone, one step closer to being dead and all because of him. He still can’t bring himself to forgiveness.

So it’s another night alone, sitting on the old couch, watching an old movie and drinking away the ghosts. Sometimes there is a coffee pot brewing on the stove and occasionally there has been a cigarette or two but no matter how foggy his mind get in these cold nights in Montana, the guilt and the hollow feeling that creeps does not go away.

But this is not like another one of those summer nights, there is no sun and no waves lulling him to sleep and suddenly the familiar sound of an incoming Skype call shakes him from his thoughts and brings him to his feet to reach the laptop sitting on the counter of the open space kitchen.

For a moment fear threaten to send him again on the verge of a panic attack, because Steve thinks he might be the CIA or the Navy or some other government agency calling him back for some sort of secret mission in the middle of an unknown jungle and he would not refuse because of his fucking sense of duty and maybe he has some issue and he’s still trying to punish himself even more. But the call is not coming from the CIA, it’ a cellular number which seems familiar but he can’t still place it in his mind.

He clicks the little green icon and in front of him there is Grace Williams. Feels like it’s been years since the last time he saw her: she’s beautiful and so much grown up, she might have her mother’s eyes but the fire in them is all Danno, so fierce and loyal and she does not look pleased to see him. She smiles at him for a moment but there is a shade of sadness in her face that Steve can’t ignore.

“Hey Grace.” Steve says trying to hide the guilt.

“We need to talk Uncle Steve, because you made a mistake.”

“I don’t understand honey. What did I do?”

“You promised you will always have his back but you did not keep your word.” She’s angry but there is a slight tremor in her voice, her eyes are red and veiled like she is making the effort of hiding the tears and this breaks Steve’s heart all over again. “You left and he hasn’t been the same ever since.”

Danny Williams has been a fixture in his life since the moment they pointed guns at each other in Steve’s garage and the journey has been nothing but a challenge but despite the dangers and the secrets and all the shit that went down in the last ten years, Steve knew that it did not matter which way he was looking, Danno was always at his side. He has been the light touch on the shoulder, the hug that lasted too long after escaping criminals in the jungle and the looks stolen at every occasion, thinking that no one around them could see the bond building day after day. They called themselves partners because friends could not describe accurately enough how much they loved each other and whatever lingered there among the hugs and the looks was the unsaid truth that required that ounce or courage that none of them had, at least for now.

Truth is that Steve McGarrett loves Danny Williams so much. It’s the kind of love that brings to watch each other back, to jump in front of a bullet or from an helicopter, the kind of love that makes you want to wake up early in the morning and brew fresh coffee and cook pancakes and lie down next to each other on the bed, kissing softly the skin on his naked shoulder while the sunlight shines through the curtains of the bedroom. It’s the love that makes the heart beat faster and makes you want to fuck and get fucked. It’s a love that hurts more than anything because of fear of losing it and at the same time, no matter how far from each other, it always brings you home.

Steve has never been the kind of person to stop and ponder for too long, it was always all or nothing for him and his feelings were exactly the same, he knew what he wanted the moment his eyes lay on the fiery detective from New Jersey and what at first seemed confusing and new, suddenly became clear like the same sunset he used to watch from the lanai of his home. Running away did not work, even miles away from Hawaii, somehow that love managed to follow him and the messenger was Grace Williams.

“What’s wrong with Danno?” Steve asks, a note of panic creeping in his voice.

“He’s fine but, not really? He looks like the same Danno but at the same time it’s like something is missing, it is been like this since you left, because you two can’t be honest with each other!” She is yelling now, fierce and beautiful like her father. “Do you think I’m blind? That I couldn’t see the way you two gravitate towards each other, like there is this invisible thread that connects you and Danno and no one was able to break. No matter how many Amber, Lynn, Catherine or mom you will date, the truth is dad was yours the moment you met for the first time. There is this gravity between you and it’s always been there, even now. Didn’t you both almost die enough time to finally realize that you can finally rest and admit that you’re mad in love for each other?” _Plus you look like shit._ She doesn’t say that out loud.

“You’re way too smart Monkey.” A little laugh slips from Steve’s lips, she smiles too. “You know already I love Danno more than anything but it never seemed the time to say it out loud. Then he was kidnapped and almost killed and I thought I lost it for a moment. After that I just needed some time to find what I was looking for.”

“Did you? Did you find what you were looking for?”

“No.”

“Of course not, because what you were looking for has always been in Hawaii, you just need to be brave and come home, where _ohana_ is. I love you Uncle Steve, please be brave one more time.” She smiles before closing the call and Steve almost had the impression to hear Danny’s voice in the background, calling Grace from another room.

It takes him at least five minutes to realize he’s crying and for the first time in six months he starts to breathe again, like swimming in the clear water of the sea on the coast of Hawaii at the first lights of the morning and the knot in his chest feels like dissipating and leaving, along with the ghosts of the past and the loved ones he couldn’t save.

He leaves the half full glass of scotch on the table and he goes outside. It’s dark and the sky is clear and full of stars, the wind is calm and slowly rustle the leaves of the trees, a howl calls from far away and his mind goes to Danno, to Grace and Charlie to his _ohana_ and finally he feels at peace, he just needed somebody to tell him what he didn’t have the courage to say to himself. He looks up at the sky and for the first time in a very long time he smiles and he’s ready to go home.

The flight lands to Honolulu Airport in the first hours of the morning and the first thing he feels is the hot air of the island, the moisture touching his skin and the smell of the ocean carried by the wind. It’s a sunny day and flocks of tourists are going out of the gate eager to start their holiday.

Waiting for him at the exit of the gate are Grace, Charlie and Jerry. They smile at him, waving a sign that says _Welcome home Steve_ and a bunch of balloons and it should be ridiculous but Steve feels his chest all warm and fuzzy because this is the best welcome he could ever get.

The first one to hug him is Charlie. He looks slightly taller than the last time he saw him, but he has the same kind big brown eyes and sweet smile that make him weak in the knees. Steve hangs in there for a minute before Charlie starts shaking a little bit and he finally realize that he’s crying and a flood of raw emotions hits him like a tsunami.

“I’m so sorry I left buddy, I’m so sorry.” He is crying too.

Jerry is looking at them and he’s barely keeping it together. That is Steve McGarrett, ex Navy SEAL and commander of the Five-0 task force, six foot and counting big man that spent most of his adult life dodging bullets and jumping from helicopters to fight bad guys behind enemy lines and right now, on his knees in the middle of the arrival gate in Honolulu Airport, he looks so small and vulnerable and he finally put down his defenses and let go. Jerry is so proud of him he could scream it at the world right now.

The second person to fall in his arms is Grace. She is taller too, with the long brown hair and those beautiful eyes filled with happiness, her smile is big and lights the place like a thousands of Christmas lights and he can’t help but think of Danno and how much he missed him.

“I knew you would come back Uncle Steve, I missed you so much.”

“Thank you for bringing me home honey.”

The journey to the McGarrett place is quite but not uncomfortable. The drive takes a good hour with the traffic of the city but Steve doesn’t mind, he keeps looking out the car window with a small smile on his face, diving into the warm sunlight and the subtle sound of the waves dying on the sand and the wind blowing through the palm trees. Truth to be told, he just wants to see Danny but a small part of him is terrified that the other man will not be as welcoming as his kids, that he will so hurt by the way he left that he would just walk away without looking back.

“Don’t worry Steve, everything will be okay.” Grace is confident of it and this helps a little bit.

“Thanks Monkey. I am okay, just feeling a bit nervous I guess.”

He drifts off at times but never long enough to fall asleep, he still has nightmares and he doesn’t want to wake up yelling in the car. Steve knows he has issues that need to be fixed but he also knows that it will not happen overnight, the hardest part of it was accepting that was not his fault and let go of the ghosts that were haunting him and he feels he’s accomplishing that.

Suddenly the car stops and his eyes lie on the place that once was his home. The home is not huge but big enough to keep all his memories safe. It looks like a bungalow made of dark wood, two floors and a scenic lanai in the front that lead to a small private beach where he and Danny spent countless nights sitting together with a beer in their hands, talking away under a sky full of stars. The place looks a bit different, it seems that Danny kept himself busy by renovating the house, like he was certain that one day he would come back and for a moment his heart skip a beat and then it began pounding like crazy and his palms are all sweaty and trembling.

“I don’t know if I can do it.” Steve admits with a nervous chuckle.

“Sure you can, this is all where you were meant to be at the end. You had your journey and eventually you made it back home, now it’s all about going forward.” Jerry says with confidence.

“When did you become so wise?”

“Somewhere along the way I guess. I struggled to fit my whole life Steve but eventually I found my place, my _ohana_. It was never a matter of if, just when. I knew you would come back home eventually, I’m glad Miss Gracie here kicked your ass into doing it sooner than later. Go Steve, I’ll see you later at Chin’s!”

“Chin?” Steve asks incapable of hiding the surprise.

“You seem surprised Steve. Just go before I call Grace and Charlie here, they will definitely can be much more persuasive than me.”

“ _Mahalo_ Jerry.”

Steve was alone now and even more scared than before. He ventures in the front lawn, his steps are soft and stealthy like the Navy SEAL he is and he moves around trying to be as silent as possible. The living room door leading outside is open but nobody is around so he stops for a moment and look around to observe what changes Danny did to the place: the kitchen is now an open space, light wood surfaces everywhere and a big counter with a mug of coffee lying on top of it. The space is shared with the living room, the wooden floor is warm under his feet, there is a big white couch with a few colorful pillows, a coffee table and the big flat screen TV – he can picture Danny sitting on it during the lonely fresh evenings, watching a game with a cold beer in his hand. There is a shelving unit against wall, it’s full of books of every kind, from classic like Moby Dick to children’s books and novels for the kids and there are pictures everywhere, a true testament to remind himself of the family he left behind when he left. Some of those are pictures of the team – Lou and Junior sitting at a table drinking cocktails with Tani smiling behind them, Duke in the background chatting animatedly with Jerry – more have Kono and Chin in it and they look pretty recent too. A lot of them are pictures of the kids and of him, always leaning towards Danno like it was the most natural act in the world.

It hits him hard what Grace said about a gravity pulling both of them always towards each other, there is always been this invisible force between them since the moment their paths crossed and only now Steve finally gets that every time he looked at Danny and said _I love you buddy_ , all the wanted to say out loud was _I’m in love with you, so much that it actually hurts_.

He finds Danny sitting next to the empty chair on the beach and his mind brings him back to six months before when he said goodbye. He’s nervous, the panic creeping up slowly from the tight knot in his chest, his heart beating so fast that he’s afraid even Danny can hear it. A drop of sweat falls down his neck, not for the overwhelming heat of the sun but for fear that it might be too late for them.

It feels like an eternity but eventually Danny gets up from the chair to go back to the house, Eddie trotting after him with a determined and protective look on his big brown puppy eyes and then he stops, looking at Steve like he just saw a ghost.

Danny looks beautiful in the sunlight. He doesn’t use the cane anymore but Steve doesn’t miss the slight lack of balance in his steps. He’s wearing a pair of white shorts that shows his tanned and masculine legs covered by a thin layer of blonde hair and an old Navy t-shirt he left in the house before leaving and it is so tight that it hugs Danny’s broad shoulders and muscles like a glove. Steve is starting to feel like a starved man walking in a no man’s land. His hair is the same as the last time, light and blonde, falling behind and shaved on both sides of the head and those bright blue eyes are so full of questions and doubt and now Steve can see it how haunted and lost his partner looks, there is a deep sadness in his face and it hurts even more because he caused it.

“Hey Danno.” Steve says with a sheepish smile.

Danny punches him, a mean right hook hitting is face with a strength that he was not expecting. It’s like the first time and he feels relieved because even if it hurts like hell, for the first time in months he feels alive.

Few seconds later there is no distance between them and Danny kisses him. The shorter man cup his face with his hands, stubble scratching is face with no shame and Steve can do nothing much but part his lips and let him in, years of unsolved tension and bottled up feelings kept like a military secret bursting out for the first time in a decade.

Steve dips his tongue inside Danny’ mouth and moans because it’s been like a minute and he’s hard as a rock, grinding his body against his partner while one hand slide around his neck and laces the fingers between the blonde cop’s hair. The kiss grows deeper, more urgent and desperate and Steve feels confused and excited and his face hurts but he doesn’t care because Danny is there.

“I can’t believe you left me.” Danny whispers close to his mouth, the ghost of his lips burning like a fire. Steve’s throat feels dry all of sudden and he can just stand there and look Danny in the eyes, while his friend rant about everything that has been in his chest until now. “I can believe you left and went dark on me babe, we were supposed to grow old together, sitting on this beach and bickering like an old married couple. You left Steve and you took my heart with you. I haven’t been the same since and I should hate you but the only thing I feel now is relieve. You were gone, you didn’t call and I thought I lost you.” Danny is well aware of how incoherent he sounds but he can’t help it, the words flow out of his mouth with no control, is the rant of a panic attack that built up for the past six months.

“I’m sorry Danno, I thought that leaving was the only way to find the peace I was looking for. Truth is I was punishing myself for putting my ohana in danger, I didn’t want to put at risk the people I love and you, fuck Danny, you almost died last time.”

“You can’t make this kind of decision for me babe.” Danny says.

“I know Danno. Truth to be told I couldn’t do this, not without a little help from someone who didn’t care I was thousands of miles away to call me off on my stupid decision.” He chuckles thinking about Grace and the more than less pleased expression on her face during the Skype call. That kid was way too smart for her own good and so brave and determined, just as her father.

“Who told you off babe?” Danny asks with a confused frown on his forehead.

“Grace. She basically told me to get my priorities straight and coming back home to you, because what I was looking for was never in the middle of nowhere in Montana but right next to me.” Steve gives him a slow kiss on the cheek. “She was right Danno. You did good, your kid is smart and kind and she brought me back to you.”

“I can’t believe she did that. I’m so fucking proud of her.” Danny is laughing and maybe there is a tear or two but Steve doesn’t point it out.

“She said there is gravity between us, like an invisible thread that will always bring us together, no matter how far we are from each other and she is right. I spent the last six months of my life holed up in Joe’s ranch in Montana tried to punish myself and looking for peace. I was surrounded by piece Danno but I did not feel better. It was you. It was always you. Peace is waking up in the morning and lying next to you, look at your eyes closed and a hint of smile when I kiss you. Peace is hearing your voice talking about work or the restaurant and how’s your mom’s lasagna is the best thing in the world. Peace is your hand on my shoulder and sitting on a beach with you and getting old together knowing that no matter how dark it will be, I will always found you by my side.” Steve cups his face with his hands, he’s so close that Danny can hear the fast and erratic heartbeat and how pretty his hazel eyes look so close.”I love you Danno, I loved you for the most part of the last ten years. I love you like a friend, a brother and I’m so in love you, so much it actually hurts, you’re my home, my peace. Sorry if took me so long.”

“Are you sure babe? Are you 100% sure you will not take off one more time? I love you too Steve, I loved you for the last ten years and I can’t handle you leaving again so please, tell me if you’re sure babe. Because right here and right now I will give you everything and will be by your side for the rest of our days. I love you babe, I love you.”

“Danno, I would marry you right now. This is how sure I am.” _No more running babe, I’m all in_. He doesn’t say the last part out loud but he has never been so sure in its entire life.

“And I would marry you too right now. It’s me and you babe, for the rest of our life in this pineapple infested hell.” Danny kisses him again, murmuring soft words against his lips and Steve finally feels it, the pull of gravity and the sense of peace. “Welcome home soldier.”

**One year later – McGarrett-Williams house**

Grace Williams finds his dad inside the bedroom, fighting against the collar of his shirt. The sun is shining through the curtains and Danny looks so nervous in front of the mirror that she takes pity on him and takes it on herself to straighten his shirt and give a good look to how he looks. He’s wearing a pair of black trousers a little too tight but they make him look amazing, a white collared shirt and a jacket that matches the bottom. His hair are perfectly in place, leaning behind and shaved on both side of the head and his blue eyes are bright and full of happiness, there’s nothing left of the lonely man he was a year ago when Steve was gone.

“You look happy Danno.” She says.

“I am very happy Monkey and I have to thank you for that.” Danny hugs her tight, trying without success to mask how many emotions are about to flood out. “Thank you for bringing back Steve, for giving him the push he needed, I will never forget what you did for me. Danno loves you Monkey.”

“I love you too Danno.”

It takes a few more moments for him to get ready and it doesn’t matter how many times he looks himself in the mirror, sometimes it feels all like a dream and he is afraid to wake up and realize that Steve never came back home. But Steve has been there, a constant presence at this side and things has been good and it was like he never left, but all the darkness and the echoes from the past were gone.

Danny is nervous, walking down to the beach where the small ceremony will be held. Everyone is there, from the loud and cheerful Williams family to all the team members and people that has been part of their life since the beginning: he sees Kamekona laughing with Max and Jerry, his parents smiling to each other and Clara reaching to Steve’s face and whispers something that’s only for him and his Navy SEAL looks so dashing in his dress blues, with a bright smile and searching for him in the small crowd, impatient and always so ready to jump full force into everything.

He meets Steve’s eyes and the fear is gone, the gravity between them pulling towards each other like it’s been for the last decade and there is when Danny knows that it’s forever and he’s more than happy about it. He takes a deep breath and walks down the beach to reach Steve, laying his eyes on his friends and family, the _ohana_ is never asked for but he’s still been blessed with.

It’s a sunny day in Hawaii, the wind from the sea is blowing slow and steady and the noise of the waves still keeps him awake at night sometimes but then he smiles at Steve and he realize he’s about to marry the love of his life and finally he feels it too, the peace that the other man was looking for. It was not in Montana or in a spiritual journey around the world, peace was with each other.

“Sorry to keep you waiting babe.” Danny whispers softly, holding his hand.

“I’m glad you are here. You look beautiful.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself Steve. I think I have a uniform kink.” The Jersey cop blushes slightly but he doesn’t movie the eyes from Steve in his dress blues, he looks gorgeous.

“That is good to know.” The SEAL chuckles and kiss the knuckles of his hand. “I love you Danno.”

“I love you too babe.”


End file.
